BARE BABY BUTT HEADS!

bald eagle

BARE BABY BUTT HEADS!

Mother Nature has called,

I am losing my hair,

Yes, I am going bald,

And I don’t care!

 

I want no creams, no toupees,

Or transplanted hair,

In fact, I like my new

Yul Brynner savoir faire!

 

Besides, my barber gives discounts,

Since there’s fewer hairs to cut,

So, I don’t really care my head

Looks like a baby’s butt!   😊

GIT UP AND GIT!

bowl

GIT UP AND GIT!

You’re an empty bowl of morals,

But filled with vanity,

Your narcissistic quarrels

Drive me to insanity,

 

You’re a low-down cheating dog,

And you ain’t worth spit,

So, you selfish hog,

Just “git” up and “git!”   😊

HOLLYWOOD STARS!

stars2

HOLLYWOOD STARS

Some Hollywood stars

Think they know it all,

And making your decisions

Is all their call,

 

Their brains are small, like English peas,

But they still spout what you should do,

Being loud, it’s their vanity.

Being p.c., their religion, too,

 

But Hollywood stars

Should beware, don’t you see,

Their nice houses and cars

Come from bucks from you and me!   😊

ALMOST PERFECT!

beauty

ALMOST PERFECT!

She’s the brightest,

And I’m not just talking,

She’s as smart as scientist

Stephen Hawking,

 

She’s the most beautiful,

As she draws near ya,

You’d swear she’s the lovely

Goddess Shakira,

 
She’s the most talented,

Who would know,

She can do goat yoga

On just one toe,

 

Yes, she’s the most perfect

Of all among us…

Except for her ghastly

Unsightly toe fungus!   😊

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!

cakes

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!

What a wonderful world it would be

If everyone, everywhere, was just like me!

We’d make more love and less war,

But, oh, there’d be so much more!

We’d have free cake and ice cream, without measure,

And the boiled peanut would become a national treasure!

There’d be more time for fun to seek,

When I implement a two-day work week!

There’d be more Ben Stiller and less Twilight,

And free sports arenas would be a highlight,

But wait! Wait! Stop this awful place!

I just realized everyone, everywhere…

Would be wearing MY face!  😊