DAD BODS!

rooster walking

DAD BODS!

They say, “dad bods” are popular,

So, I am where it’s at!

Just a little out of shape,

Just a teeny bit fat,

 

So, put me on a runway,

And watch me strut my stuff,

Then, I bet you’ll shout,

“Please stop, that’s enough!”

FOOD CRAVINGS!

pig (1)

FOOD CRAVINGS!

I craved something

New and delicious to eat,

Then, you suggested chicken lips

And pickled pigs’ feet,

But no, I’m not adventurous,

I don’t want to dine out

On puny pony eyes

Or fried possum snout,

Sir, I hate to be

A contrarian,

But you’ve converted me

To be vegetarian!   😊

ARBITRARY “LITERARY” AGENTS!

tower

ARBITRARY “LITERARY” AGENTS

I have thoroughly lost my patience,

With arrogant, ignorant “literary” agents,

Like snide merchants perched in ivory towers,

They randomly dispense their publishing power,

 

I think you must now get the gist,

Of why, as a writer, I am pissed!

They critique: “Sorry, your writing’s not what we seek,”

Even though, at most, they’ve seen a tiny peek,

 

Do they pull the whiskers off kittens

Before they steal their kitten mittens?

But if one replied, “I like what I’ve read,”

Then, I’d probably love her more than my dog Fred!   😊