CARDBOARD PERSONALITIES

CARDBOARD PERSONALITIES

Don’t you just hate,

Cardboard personalities,

They’re like empty plates

Filled with dry banalities,

 

They don’t care

If your puppy died,

Their stoic brains

Are too freeze-dried,

 

We shouldn’t hate them

We should just feel pity,

They’re the real walking dead,

In an empty city.

HOW TO DEAL WITH A JERK!

HOW TO DEAL WITH JERKS!

He was a brilliant attorney,

I was his young law clerk,

He taught me a lot of law

And how to deal with a jerk,

 

We had stopped at a diner,

I held the door for my friend,

It was barely wide enough

For his wheelchair to roll in,

 

As he rolled to a table,

Some of the patrons there,

Looked up from their plates,

And began to stare,

 

I was shocked and mad!

What a disgrace!

I wanted to slap

Each gawker’s face!

 

But as my boss showed me,

I know his lesson still,

Just ignore all the jerks

And have a nice meal!   😊

THE “WISH YOU” TISSUE!

THE “WISH YOU” TISSUE!

Aren’t you jealous?

Don’t you wish you

Had my SIX ply

Toilet tissue?!

 

It’s so comfy

When you go,

To take a “dumpfy,”

You will know,

 

That though the world

Around may fall,

You’ll never feel “squishy,”

Not at all!!  😊

THE OLD FLY SWATTER

THE OLD FLY SWATTER

Granny rocked on the porch

With her old fly swatter,

And she did something bad,

She really hadn’t ought-er!

 

A fly had landed on Pappy’s head,

And when she spied where it was at,

Granny flicked the fly swatter

With a mighty KER-SPLATT!

 

Old Pappy jumped up and said,

“Why’d you hit me on my head?”

“You disturbed my nap

And that poor creature is dead!”

 

“Old man,” Granny said,

“Beware, this is true,”

“I wasn’t aiming at the fly,

I aimed to hit you!”   😊