SAVING GOLDFISH!
Johnny got a goldfish
And placed it in a shallow dish,
The fish had to lay on his side,
To get oxy-fied,
“Do they think I am a toy?”
“Someone save me from this boy!”
Then, he was “saved” by a cat!
And yes, that was that! 😊
Tag: funny poems
THE CITY SLICKER, THE MOONSHINE, AND THE HOG UBER!
THE CITY SLICKER, THE MOONSHINE,
AND THE HOG UBER!
Gather around, hear my story,
There’s humor, but little glory,
See, I once sold whiskey,
Mixed with moonshine,
To a city slicker,
All dressed and refined,
He finished the jug,
And then caught an uber,
But alas, poor slug,
It was really my hog eating a tuber,
The hog first took issue
And tossed him to the ground,
But felt bad, got him a tissue
And took him to town,
And lest you should think
I am spinning a yarn,
Go ask the three-legged dog,
Still laughing, at the barn! 😊
ANYTHING FRIED!
ANYTHING FRIED!
Yes, I’m proudly a son of the South,
Which means I put lots of fried foods in my mouth!
Fried chicken, fried okra,
Fried taters, fried steak,
Anything fried, for Heaven’s sake!
So, Doctor, please flush me and insert one more stent,
I want more fried chicken, which is Heaven sent! 😊
WACKY WEED!
WACKY WEED!
You done did
A dastardly deed!
Stay away from me
With your wacky weed!
I didn’t mind
The heart palpitations,
But I got scared
Of hallucinations,
I saw a large, green monkey
Singing George Strait,
And a blue rabbit fishing
With mushrooms for bait,
And then, the rabbit
Screamed out, “Wait!”
He said, “Man, I could use
YOU for bait!”
I woke up, in a deep sweat,
So, I say, don’t delay,
Take your wacky weed
And GET! 😊
YOUR LITTLE TWEET!
YOUR LITTLE TWEET!
I’m just hurt,
I’m not bitter,
You never mention me
On twitter,
After all, I’m sweet,
And unlike any other,
I was your first “tweet,”
Cuz you are my mother! 😊
SOUTHERN WRITER 