ARBITRARY “LITERARY” AGENTS!

tower

ARBITRARY “LITERARY” AGENTS

I have thoroughly lost my patience,

With arrogant, ignorant “literary” agents,

Like snide merchants perched in ivory towers,

They randomly dispense their publishing power,

 

I think you must now get the gist,

Of why, as a writer, I am pissed!

They critique: “Sorry, your writing’s not what we seek,”

Even though, at most, they’ve seen a tiny peek,

 

Do they pull the whiskers off kittens

Before they steal their kitten mittens?

But if one replied, “I like what I’ve read,”

Then, I’d probably love her more than my dog Fred!   😊

JUST LIKE A MULE’S BUTT!

mules

JUST LIKE A MULE’S BUTT!

You may think you’re better,

You may think you’re so cool,

But you’re just the south end

Of a north-bound mule,

 

Even in your finest jewelry

And in your cashmere sweater,

You really should know

You ain’t a bit better,

 

So, you should climb down

Off your high horse,

Because you are really just

Like a mule’s butt, of course!!    😊

“TOM TERRIFIC” TIMMONS

muscle man

“TOM TERRIFIC” TIMMONS

“Tom Terrific” Timmons

Thought he was God’s gift to women,

He strutted down the college hall

And cocky Tom felt that all

 

The girls were watching him,

Cuz he was muscular and trim,

He also bullied other guys

And belittled their puny size,

 

You see, he was terrific Tom,

The ruler, the bomb!

But then, one day,

I’m happy to say…

 

As Tom strutted down the hall,

He slipped and took a mighty fall!

Everyone laughed, except Tom, who cried,

And no one helped him, or ran to his side,

 

And Tom’s reputation wasn’t enhanced,

As he both split and wet his big boy pants!

There are lessons to be learned from Tom’s disgrace,

We should learn to be humble and know our place,

 

Also, don’t be a bully and never strut

Cuz one day, you, too, may fall on your butt,

Then, you’ll never get a date for the dance,

Cuz you split and wet your big boy pants!   🙂