THE CITY SLICKER, THE MOONSHINE, AND THE HOG UBER!

THE CITY SLICKER, THE MOONSHINE,

AND THE HOG UBER!

Gather around, hear my story,

There’s humor, but little glory,

See, I once sold whiskey,

Mixed with moonshine,

To a city slicker,

All dressed and refined,

He finished the jug,

And then caught an uber,

But alas, poor slug,

It was really my hog eating a tuber,

The hog first took issue

And tossed him to the ground,

But felt bad, got him a tissue

And took him to town,

And lest you should think

I am spinning a yarn,

Go ask the three-legged dog,

Still laughing, at the barn!   😊

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ANYTHING FRIED!

ANYTHING FRIED!

Yes, I’m proudly a son of the South,

Which means I put lots of fried foods in my mouth!

Fried chicken, fried okra,

Fried taters, fried steak,

Anything fried, for Heaven’s sake!

So, Doctor, please flush me and insert one more stent,

I want more fried chicken, which is Heaven sent!   😊

WACKY WEED!

WACKY WEED!

You done did

A dastardly deed!

Stay away from me

With your wacky weed!

 

I didn’t mind

The heart palpitations,

But I got scared

Of hallucinations,

 

I saw a large, green monkey

Singing George Strait,

And a blue rabbit fishing

With mushrooms for bait,

 

And then, the rabbit

Screamed out, “Wait!”

He said, “Man, I could use

YOU for bait!”

 

I woke up, in a deep sweat,

So, I say, don’t delay,

Take your wacky weed

And GET!   😊

YOUR LITTLE TWEET!

YOUR LITTLE TWEET!

I’m just hurt,

I’m not bitter,

You never mention me

On twitter,

After all, I’m sweet,

And unlike any other,

I was your first “tweet,”

Cuz you are my mother!   😊

“FEBRU-WEARY!”

“FEBRU-WEARY!”

I am tired of Winter,

I am “febru-weary!”

I need Spring

To make me cheery!

If I was a squirrel,

I don’t want a cold nut,

So, come on, Spring,

Get off your butt!   😊