THE “WISH YOU” TISSUE!
Aren’t you jealous?
Don’t you wish you
Had my SIX ply
Toilet tissue?!
It’s so comfy
When you go,
To take a “dumpfy,”
You will know,
That though the world
Around may fall,
You’ll never feel “squishy,”
Not at all!! 😊
Month: February 2019
FIRE IN MY PANTS!
FIRE IN MY PANTS!
I’ve got fire in my pants!
The flames are climbing higher,
This ain’t about romance,
My situation is dire,
I gotta go,
Enough said,
Now, I know,
No more smoking in bed! 🙂
BASEBALL LOGIC!
BASEBALL LOGIC!
Since two out of three in baseball
Is quite a feat,
Then, after two good deeds,
You should be allowed one cheat!
And for each two truths,
Be allowed one lie,
And be allowed two lives,
Before you die! 😊
PLEASE GIVE ME A SQUEEZE!
PLEASE GIVE ME A SQUEEZE!
Darlin,’ give me a squeeze,
Or two hugs, if you please!
But no more can I handle,
My heart would burn like a Roman candle!
Your hugs light up my life,
And help me handle strife,
Your hugs are the perfect ointment,
To handle life’s disappointments,
And your hugs are like a soothing fiddle,
So, Darlin,’ please just give me a little…
Squeeze! 😊
THE HONEST QUERY LETTER
THE HONEST QUERY LETTER
Dear Literary Agent:
Publishing me would be a blunder,
Because success can breed failure,
My first book: maybe a one hit wonder,
But my second book would fail, for sure.
Sincerely,
Negative Author
SOUTHERN WRITER 