THE HONEST QUERY LETTER
Dear Literary Agent:
Publishing me would be a blunder,
Because success can breed failure,
My first book: maybe a one hit wonder,
But my second book would fail, for sure.
Sincerely,
Negative Author
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Month: February 2019
THE BIRD “DIRTY” KING!
THE BIRD “DIRTY” KING!
I felt like a king,
Sitting in my porch swing,
But then, a little birdy
Did a little “dirty,”
And the “dirty” hit my head,
And then, the birdy said,
“My word-y, you’ve got bird “dirty”
On your head,”
“So, I am the king,
Instead!” 😊
Goat Yoga!
GOAT YOGA!
I was doing goat yoga,
In a white, silk toga,
As the goat posed on my back,
As I did the leaping lizard,
The goat kicked my gizzard,
In a most cowardly attack!
Thus ended goat yoga,
As the goat ate my toga,
And I went and hit the sack! 😊
LIFE’S UNFORGETTABLE SIGHTS!
(Disclaimer: As to the following poem, no offense is intended toward any “granny fannies” out there. Undoubtedly, many are quite lovely and useful for sitting, too! The author further acknowledges that grandpa fannies are likely to be even more unsightly than granny fannies, but because “grandpa” doesn’t rhyme with “fanny,” he felt it was necessary to use the word “granny” in the following silly, little poem!)
LIFE’S UNFORGETTABLE SIGHTS!
Life is filled with terrible sights,
Train wrecks, fires, and dogs which bite,
Puss-filled pimples, we can’t forget!
But there’s one more horrific sight yet…
The sight which is worst and most uncanny:
You can’t “unsee” old granny’s fanny! 😊
SQUISHY LOVE!
SQUISHY LOVE!
I’m in love! I’m in love!
Love is all I can think of,
A little love, your heart will sing,
But too much love is a dangerous thing,
Too much love means agitation,
Aggravation and heart palpitation,
You’ll lose your job, if too distracted,
And your life’s cut short, if too impacted,
I know my love went much too far,
Cuz a train squished me in my car! 😊
