THE PERFECT PIROUETTE

gavel

As a change of pace, please enjoy the following true “war story” from my days as a prosecutor!

I learned a very valuable lesson while trying a case in Parks County with my fellow Assistant D.A., Doug Morgan.  I learned that you should always check your fly before going into a courtroom!  Doug was making the opening statement in a drug case.  He was busy outlining the facts of the case.  I was sitting at the prosecution table, while assisting him as his “second chair.”  Doug’s opening statement was going fine.  All of a sudden, mid-sentence, Doug spun around, away from the jury box.  To everyone’s surprise, he quickly reached down and zipped up the fly of his pants!  Then, he quickly spun back around and again faced the jury box.  Both spins and the zip didn’t take over two seconds to complete!  It was a perfect pirouette!  Doug immediately resumed his opening statement without missing a beat!

I learned later that he had been alerted by a Sheriff’s deputy who had noticed the unzipped fly while sitting at the clerk’s table located in front of the judge’s bench.  The deputy had written a note on a legal pad, in large letters, and pushed it forward on the table in Doug’s direction where he stood nearby.  Simultaneously, the deputy managed to make eye contact with Doug and get his attention during the opening statement.  He had nodded slightly and motioned for Doug to read the legal pad note on the table.  The note read, “Your fly is open, Dumb Ass!”

 

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