MY NEUROTIC, MANIACAL HYPOCHONDROSIS!
My doctor gave me a strange diagnosis,
I have Neurotic Maniacal Hypochondrosis!
What that means, I don’t know, but I know I feel bad,
Have a seat, and I’ll tell you about the ailments I’ve had!
First, my head always hurts, with a bad migraine,
But, let me tell you, that’s the least of my pain.
My piles have boils, and my boils have piles,
And my diverticulitis goes on for miles and miles!
I’ve got rashes and hives in my “sensitive” places,
My doctor agrees it’s one of her worst cases.
My stomach is swollen, and, boy, it really hurts,
If I wasn’t constipated, I’d have raging squirts!
I’ve got scabies, mumps, and an itching pin worm,
My sores get infected when I scratch and squirm!
There’s so much more, but why are you leaving?!
Here’s my barf bucket, I can see you are heaving!